Thoughts on America's Next Top Model

Okay, so normally I never do posts like this! I don't like to do posts without photos. But the topic of this post is something I've been mulling over and I really want to share, and I couldn't really find any images that would express the kind of thing I was talking about. My sisters have become big America’s Next Top Model fans lately, so sometimes if I’m walking past the front room I get caught up watching it too (it’s really addictive once you’ve started!). I think we’re on cycle 16 or somewhere around that? At any rate, it’s the one with Brittani, Alexandria etc, and we’re getting closer to the finals now – last episode I watched, there were four girls left at the end, and it really got me thinking.

As much as I find ANTM entertaining to watch, and I love seeing the final photos and the crazy themes they have each week, I can’t help but think all that doesn’t make up for the strange and (in my opinion) negative message the show gives out. The concept is that the prize – to be a top model, have a few cover shoots, win some money – is amazing and that the role of ‘supermodel’ is something that is fun, exciting, wholesome and positive. Which, for many actual supermodels such as Natalia Vodianova and Gisele Bundchen, I’m sure it is. But the show has come under criticism for the fact that none of its contestants have actually gone on to become ‘supermodels’ and for painting a glossy, glittery surface over the cruel and harsh industry that modeling can be (I say ‘can’ because I don’t mean this to be a criticism of the modeling industry in general. I don’t know enough about it to make general statements and I don’t want to condemn it just because popular opinion often does.).

What disturbed me about the cycle of ANTM that I’ve been watching is that I find the second criticism of the show to be fairly untrue. Yes, Tyra Banks and the ANTM producers do their best to present modeling as glamorous and luxurious, with lots of special rewards and focus on ‘positivity’ and ‘energy’. But what I noticed more was the behaviour of the girls. I find it alarming, and slightly creepy, how all the girls repeatedly stated how ‘desperate’ they were to win and how they ‘wanted it so much’ and how they ‘wouldn’t know what to do if they went home’. Yet as the cycle progressed, their behaviour became more and more erratic and miserable, and I started to wonder, why do they want to win so much when doing this job clearly doesn’t make them happy? As the finals draw closer, increasing numbers of the girls start suffering from panic attacks, crying fits, moodiness and crippling insecurities where once they were confident in their own beauty (looking at you, Kasia). And you start to wonder where the reward is.

Is all the crying, the criticism both from yourself and those you’re working with, the stress, the pressure – is that all worth it? The only moment those girls look happy is when they get their photo and praise from Tyra at the end of the show. But even that is fleeting, because as we all know appearance-based compliments don’t last the way that praise for your intelligence or your hard work or your talents does. And as much as a stranger on the street who compliments you on your outfit may give you a buzz that’ll last the whole day, these girls don’t even have that luxury because their only goal and achievement is tainted by the fact that they’ve got to try harder to be even better next week - and not more hard working, or smarter, or something that can be obtained by effort and practice. They have to be better looking. Their ‘happiness’ is governed by their looks, which everyone knows is a dangerous area to gamble on, because everyone has had bad hair/skin/makeup/outfit-choosing days.

This is what I was seeing: a group of beautiful women putting themselves through emotional turmoil and often destroying their confidence just to win a title that seemingly brought no end benefits except to carry on living in the same destructive way. ANTM confirmed my worst impressions of modeling, rather than convincing me that it was something positive or healthy for the model. And yet the show insists that this path to ‘success’ is not only normal, but also admirable and something to aspire to. Excuse me for finding it disturbing that the media teaches girls to aspire to make themselves miserable and insecure in order to reach a goal that offers them little satisfaction or security.

But maybe I'm looking at it in the wrong way, or being too harsh and critical. What do you all think?

Places and spaces

I find it really fascinating how humans feel the need to change and customise their surroundings to reflect their inner selves. It's a strange impulse, if you think about it, but it's one that everyone seems to have - from simple things like what furniture you choose, or putting photos of friends and family on your walls, to creating full-blown collages and murals. Even people who wouldn't classify themselves as creative wouldn't be happy living in a blank room for years on end. People like to feel like they own a space I guess, to create a mini-world according to their perceptions and inspirations. I find collages most fascinating because of what they say about a person - the way you construct a collage, how you put images together, what you include, what colours are most dominant, are all like a window into a person's mind and view of the world, made even more interesting because when people make collages they usually include images that mean the most to them, that make them happy, or that they find inspiring (even if by 'collage', all there is is a few photos of their friends from times that have meant a lot to them). So when you look at someone's walls in someone's room, or someone's house, often you're looking at the way the person wants to see the world - seeing the person at their most optimistic and hopeful, which is kind of beautiful in my opinion.

I got a roll of film developed this week off my mini diana and I'd taken a few photos of my own room to put on this blog, because my room really is one of my biggest inspirations. They're not the best photos, but you'll get the idea!

I made the collage above my bed when I was about 14/15, and the one by my desk is more recent. They're made up of cutouts from magazines, photos I found on the internet (back when Piczo was still a big deal) and photos of my friends. Plus my posters of Audrey Hepburn and London Fashion Week. As you can see, I like colour a lot!

Details from my wall. Photos generally from Vogues, Elle Decoration (for areas of block colour and because I like to vary it from being just fashion) and from online.

This is my favourite shot from any fashion shoot I've ever come across. It's Lily Cole in 2005 I think, and the photo appears on my wall at least 3 times in different sizes. I think it's so beautiful and fairytale-esque, and precisely what I meant when I was talking about a creative way of showing the what the world would be like if it was up to you. Besides, I think spiral staircases are incredibly beautiful.

Berlin 2011 (and changing fast...)

Firstly, let me apologise for the lack of posts lately!! Hopefully this one will make up for it and show you one of the reasons I've been busy lately.

(Me looking colour-coordinated with my surroundings. Tights from H&M, sailor jacket from Topshop, snood from H&M, vintage shorts, boots from a market.)

Recently I was lucky enough to get the chance to go to Berlin with my art class for a few days. Of all the places I've ever been to abroad, I've never been in a city so brimming with creativity and movement before. Berlin has a tragic and largely negative history, especially in the 20th century, due to the Nazis, the World Wars and then the ensuing divide between West Berlin and Soviet-controlled East Berlin. Up until around 20 years ago the city was still in a fragmented state both mentally and in regards to the buildings itself, and as such a large proportion of the architecture there is relatively recent. I found it fascinating and moving how a city could be on the one hand so progressive in its architecture, and yet so determined to not forget the tragedy of its past and those who suffered there (there are many monuments, in particular relating to World War 2).

('The Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe' - Peter Eisenman and Buro Happold)

(my friend in the amazing Jewish Museum, which serves as a architectural, interactive memorial by Daniel Libeskind)

But enough of the heavy stuff. Berlin is the most inspirational city I've ever been to! On every street there's some form of artwork, be it architecture or street art (Berlin is completely filled with some of the most talented graffiti art I've seen), so you're constantly surrounded by a sort of creative 'buzz'. There's a strong feeling of movement and evolution, which is partly why I consider myself so lucky to have visited there now - the city is still fairly young and in 20 years will have completely transformed itself.

(The Reichstag, with its dome built by Norman Foster. You can go up inside and see across the whole of Berlin!)

(Tomàs Saraceno's exhibition. He builds amazing bubble/spiderweb- like things that are huge in scale. You can even go inside some of them and it feels like you're floating.)

(Graffiti art on the streets of Berlin)

One last set of photos I wanted to share is from a flea market I went to while there. It was incredible! There was so much to buy and so many old and antique items cluttered all together in the most haphazard way. It was so beautiful too, like being in a sweet shop except huge and made up of random old things.

It's strange that when I started this blog I wanted to make it very much a fashion-orientated blog. And even though I still see it as such, it's kinda evolved to being more focused on art, though I guess the two are interlinked (well for me that's something I feel strongly as they're both things I'm so passionate about). And this post has got me wondering how things can change, and how what you choose to wear (and therefore, in my opinion, who you are) is shaped by your environment and the things you experience. Or at least that's what I feel has shaped my sense of 'fashion'.

Stars and Dreams.

"I think if you're a creative person, you think you're an exception, that you're special, that your tastes are really unique, that if you made something for you that nobody else would want it, but it's completely not true." - Leith Clark, interview.



(Breakfast at Tiffany's - because for me, no other film sums up being lost and not knowing what you want quite so well.)

Lately I've been thinking a lot about purposes and what it means to be special or unique. It's very easy to say that everyone is individual and can't be replaced but in a world the size of ours it's also very easy to feel small and insignificant. The world feels bigger than ever before, now that everyone is constantly connected across continents through the Internet, phones and fast-spreading media; for all the benefits this brings us, it also creates an acute awareness of just how tiny we are as part of the human race at this very moment, let alone in the universe's entire history and future. I've always firmly believed everyone has their own purpose, something that they're born to do, and that because of this everyone is different and irreplaceable in their roles. On days when I'm feeling down, it can be depressing to look at people who are inspirations for this philosophy - people who've followed their dreams and passions, put in hours of work, and as a result have created things that are beautiful and have great significance - because I can fall into the trap of feeling lost in comparison. How do people find their path in life and follow it with such conviction? Does it make you inferior if you don't have that drive, if at times you feel like you don't know what you want? I don't think I'm alone in wondering this. But when you read interviews with those who have succeeded, you don't see the hard work, the doubts, the fears, the moments where they must've believed they could never achieve their goals. You only see the glamour, the end result, and if you think of it in that way the pride and empowerment that underlies the words and actions of those who are following their true passions make the journey it takes to get there seem a lot less hopeless.

This post is inspired by the current issue of i-D, which looks at dreams. I guess being at the age I am and making the choices that I do means that for me right now, being inspired by people who have the self-confidence to believe in themselves even in the face of adversity is incredibly important. One thing I have learnt lately is that no one's life choices are in any way inferior to anyone else's, as long as they are based on genuine passion and feeling. And I greatly admire people who want to be teachers because they want to help educate others who need it, or those who want to be doctors because they have a desire to heal and to help people. But In modern society it's easy to get pressured into making life choices based on money, or security, or on the values that the media pressures us to have. However it seems to me that those who step outside the boundaries of what is 'safe' are the ones you read about in magazines, talking about how they love what they do and how they have no regrets.

For me, the things that always make me feel special are stars and the colour gold (call me unoriginal, haha!). I only became aware of it after watching that first episode of Glee when Rachel talks about her 'gold stars' and I identified with her (not in such an obsessive way, but I got the general idea). As much as she's irritating and has about a billion bad character traits, I do admire her ambition. And this season stars are huge in fashion - just look at D&G's gold star dress and lots of other glittery gold things. Gold lights up winter and makes everything seem a lot more sparkly and magical in general, so wearing it is a bit like a talisman against dreary weather and bad days. So here's some photos for you all to make you feel special too :)



"You might laugh because every time I sign my name I put a gold star after it, but it’s a metaphor, and metaphors are important. My gold stars a metaphor for me being a star.” - Rachel Berry, Glee.












Bottom two photos - amazing earrings I got in a flea market in Berlin, badly proportioned drawing I did which looked better before I scanned it/the blog uploader reduced its size...

Autumn Blues

I've been feeling really down recently, a typical symptom of being ill/having too much school work/it getting colder and unnecessarily windy but not so much so that I have to wear a coat and scarf so I end up cold yet seasonally-appropriate. Blogging always cheers me up though. This is just a short post, but in order to create a little bubble of optimism and positivity for everyone (including myself) I thought I'd include some of my favourite things to wear lately. My sister is being uncooperative so no full outfit photos but most of these are accessories anyway.



MY FAVOURITE SHOES. Also my school shoes (because wearing impractical-but-pretty shoes to school always makes my day better, even if it is damaging to my back apparently). They're all scuffed cos I'm bad at looking after my shoes but they go with nearly everything and make boring 'I'm-too-tired-to-get-dressed' outfits look exciting and like I've put effort into my wardrobe choices.



New earrings I got from a Rokit in Brick Lane this weekend. They're so cute! Haven't actually worn them out yet because they're kinda heavy to wear to school, and they look like the sort of earrings you save for an occasion.



Noodle soup ring with eggs in! Made this myself out of a ring blank and a keyring that my Dad got me ages ago from Hong Kong I think.

Drawing I did to express my angsty teenage feelings of being trapped by the education system:



Followed by drawing I did because I have a short angst span and prefer to think that things will always get better:

October Summer

It's reached the 2nd of October and it's currently 27 degrees outside. This time last year it was snowing. Apparently this is an Indian summer, so basically now that everyone's packed away their summer clothes we all have to go out in odd combinations of thick socks and shorts and t-shirts from 5 years ago that are hidden in the back of our drawers. Being the super-disorganised person that I am, I actually still have a lot of my summer clothes lying around, so have been taking advantage of the sunshine to take photos actually outside for once.





Yay, sunny pics! Black vest, skirt I made out of a dress my grandma made for me when I was about 7, sunglasses from Forever 21, gold flats (that I love and therefore are falling to pieces) from Topshop, Mini Diana camera which I use to take awesome analogue photos which I then usually forget to get developed.
Inspired by Tom Ford's 1995 collection for Gucci, which I can't find photos of anywhere on the Internet but basically featured lots of really bright 50s shapes and fruit patterns. And also Stella McCartney's spring 2011:


And on another note, I went down to the Kid Robot store in Covent Garden yesterday. As I've mentioned before, I love vinyl toys, and seeing as I got a really cute zipper-pull from there I thought I'd show you all a couple of my other ones :)





The giraffe I painted myself from a 'Raffy' in the Munny range, the cute little teacup thing is a Lunartik and the zipper-pull is also from the Munny range. They're seriously the most uplifting things to have in your room and it's nice to be able to take photos of them in the sun, 'cause that's not something we get lots of here!

Festival Looks

Every year around summer time, we all get bombarded by photos of celebrities like Alexa Chung and Daisy Lowe's 'festival chic'. So basically, a bunch of famous people who either spend their time at festivals in the hidden-to-normal-people, non-muddy zones (there is no other logical reason why anyone would wear a white dress at a festival) or simply have enough money to be able to trash cute outfits without batting an eyelid.

For us commoners, 'festival chic' transpires as 'anything-you-have-paid-less-than-a-fiver-for-and-don't-mind-losing-forever', seeing as the odds of it getting mud/beer/water/rain/tears/makeup/fluorescent facepaint on it are fairly high. Sad to say, I ruined one of my favourite jumpers, though it was definitely worth the memories I got. And also worth it in a sense because I actually gained a hoodie from a nice guy who took pity on me being cold, but who I couldn't find afterwards to return it. While we all try to follow the trends - crop tops and shorts with long socks were ALL you saw at Reading, as I'm about to conform to - the fact is everyone resembles a crackhead who's fallen into a pond by the end of the weekend.

Cue outfit photos! Though I didn't take many at the actual time, I've recreated my two favourite ones for your enjoyment. Just to note, I made a spontaneous badly-thought-out decision to wash my hair just before taking these, which explains the drenched-rat look. Also, I'm not sure why they've come out so small? I uploaded them on the 'large' setting!). I've also thrown in some inspiration shots to add to my cool festival-ly vibe. Or, you know, to just hype about awesome Bitching & Junkfood clothes which I wish I was rich enough to actually have worn to Reading. Headdresses! Shorts with spikes/feathers on!!! Why are you not mine?!








And to finish off, a cute shot of my friends. Because rain ponchos are genuinely the best festival look ever.

Back to School!!

After what has probably been the best summer ever? I haven't posted in so long because of a family holiday to California, and then Reading festival, which left me dying of post-festival-flu in bed for about a week. While I could bore you all with my holiday snaps, September has officially rolled in and I feel like pushing straight ahead to autumn and college and knitwear etc......

College/Sixth-Form/School (known by alternate names based on how cool you want to sound) started today. As much as I'd love to say the first day is a mini fashion show like most schools, with everyone showing up hoping to look as good as possible, as if trying to convince themselves that bothering to look nice for school will last, unfortunately my school has a dress code. So instead of this:



We all look more like this:



However, there are certain things (dress code allowing) that I can't wait to wear this autumn. Here's some inspiration for everyone!












In case you can't tell, I do have a thing for bright/warm colours. And coats. I have a bit of a coat obsession, it'll be the death of my bank account. I'm also a fan of the drowning-in-knitwear-because-it's-so-big look, but it's harder than you think to find pictures of that. More to come soon!!